“In need of advice” is the title of an email I received recently. Not unusual, when you consider what I do in the world. But this request was different. It wasn’t about clearing an entity or healing a broken relationship. This person, let’s call her Mary, needed help navigating anxiety. Here is our (edited) exchange:
Hi Holly,
Lately, I have been a little off. I’ve been working thru it, but can’t shake feeling crappy after this class I am taking with other women.
During class I feel judgment, sometimes even before I speak. I think this creates weird conversations. On occasion, I get triggered and feel like crying. I feel hyper-sensitive. Maybe I don’t know what exactly I’m feeling; I am still sorting this out. I know this is my something. I have felt this way with other people. I feel that maybe I feel too much information simultaneously; all at once I feel everything. It’s this psychic intense moment. So perhaps I feel the spider on the wall, the dog outside barking, the lizard crawling on the sidewalk, the children in the other room and emotions of the people I’m with, the possible future emotions of the people I am with, etc. And when the spotlight is on me, it’s overwhelming, all intensely increases.
I think the themes of surrender and survival are shifting me, something big is being let go.
Any advice on how to work thru this peacefully, easily, and comfortably?
Love and Gratitude – Mary
Hello Sweet Mary,
I sincerely doubt that these women in your group are criticizing you, or belittling you, or yawning when you talk. The reason I doubt this is because I know you, and you are a sweet, caring woman. But even if I didn’t know you, I would say the same thing. Groups, women, people, we don’t gather for discord. We gather for fun, or learning. We gather for love. So let’s start with that. Let’s just say you are gathered for love.
To begin with, I want you to know that I have the same issue. I call it anxiety and it is always somewhere in me. The only relief that I have found is in meditation. You should know that I get anxiety when I have caffeine or too much sugar. Or if I am in a new environment, or with people I want to impress. Or when I can’t sleep…or-or-or… lol.
The great thing about turning 50 (this year) is I am really starting to think about me instead of everyone else. Finally. After years of trying to be strong and talking myself out of negative thoughts. Years of worry about gossip.
Next, I have this idea. I want you to find your inner strength. I want you to square your shoulders, look in the mirror and say, “No one talks bad about me.” If your inner momma can’t find her big girl shoes, and you do feel those nasty anxiety thoughts, I want you to get busy. Clean something. Go for a walk. Punch a pillow. It’s just extra energy looking for a place to be “right”. Don’t let that place be behind your inner critic, because she—that nasty inner critic—needs to take a nap.
I wish I could say you will “grow” out of this, but you won’t. It’s your nature, you’re empathic. You are managing, consciously, more energy than you have ever managed before. And guess what? There will be more intense astrology, more solar flares, more lightwork and more energy to manage. More, more, more. But here is the good news: I have made a very important discovery. If you feel that someone doesn’t like you, your feeling is probably right on. But when you felt it, the feeling said, “I don’t like you.” Only—and this is the important part—the thought wasn’t for you. It was an inner thought the person was having about themselves. They don’t like themselves. Sometimes we are so insecure that we cross boundaries and sneak a peak at the inner thoughts of others, and then, because we are so humanly insecure, we think the thought is about us.
Now I am going to challenge you. Please take the bad thoughts and turn them around so “she doesn’t like me” becomes “she doesn’t like herself”. Do it with every negative thought. Next, use your powerful healing thoughts and abilities to send that person the most love that you can. Give her (or him) a big pure Christ Consciousness Light band-aid for their sub-conscious wounds. Pray for them to have a good day, be a prize winner, find a bargain or sleep well that night. Give yourself over to the rescue, the healing, the blessing. To make all this healing extra powerful, ask Father/Mother/God/Goddess/Creator/Source to do the work. That way you can rest and your friend can receive from the highest.
YOU are the light!
If you do this every time you feel afraid or criticized, you will teach your mind a technique. And then you will find that when insecurity surfaces, you will automatically go into prayer, and that will heal you. I promise.
Lastly, is the hardest part of healing anxiety. I want you to know that you are not hate-able. You just aren’t. You speak with discernment. You don’t overstep boundaries. You are honest, loving and caring. I just don’t see anyone disliking you. So if your inner critic gets the microphone (or megaphone) you must, simply must, take it away.
I hope this is helpful! I care about you and respect you!!! Know this to be true!!! Please write back soon and tell me how you feel about this message.
Love you – hb
