Asking Why

I want to tell you about Becky, who I trust implicitly. We met through a mutual friend about ten years ago. She called to ask me for a reading and became an on-going client. At the time I was learning how to do what I do— I was just about two years into reading energy for people. Working with Becky brought out another aspect of work from deep within me, she helped me grow.question-mark

Becky, like me, asks questions. She listens intently, and then asks about what she heard. While channeling I listen to questions from my client and then let the answer flow from my guides. With Becky I had to be more interactive. The questions and answers came faster, more earnestly. I found myself resigning to a place of surrender where I used my mind to go back and forth.

This was difficult for me; it took time and effort for me to surrender. In the past, I was taught to go in and be still, let the guides offer their energy as it channeled into words. Suddenly, I was called upon to participate and I did not trust myself enough. But Becky trusted me. Becky expressed appreciation and told me when Spirit brought forth truth, healing, clearing, predictions, help, love and direction that was applicable in her life. Becky showered me with gratitude. It was awkward at first, I still didn’t believe in myself, but I kept working toward my desire to work with pure Christ Consciousness Light.

In a tele-class I did 12-31-14 for New Year’s Eve, someone asked how to know “why”. I certainly wanted to know why I had to change when I worked with Becky. Why did I have to use my mind to navigate more than one guide? Why did I have to stop going into the quiet place where I could do nothing but concentrate on the origin of the guidance? Why change? Why now? When I worked with Becky, I was intimidated. Her skills and knowledge exceeded mine when it came to lightwork. She worked in the self help industry for years, launching famous people. Heck, she is kinda famous herself. I wanted to do my work and walk away. But Becky didn’t let me; somehow she guided me into a place where I could trust that my connection to Spirit was pure so I could learn to do other things.

Now isn’t that just like life? Somewhere, someone/thing is making plans for me and I am not consciously aware of it. Now its ten years later and I can see clearly that there was/is a master plan. Maybe Becky’s high self and my high self shook hands in the ethers saying, “Yep, we will have to work around her resistance on this one. But she will get it, just keep pushing, it will be fine.”

Becky, Holly, Jolie in Aspen 2009

Becky, Holly, Jolie in Aspen 2009

I admit my stubbornness. I admit I like things a certain way. And maybe that interferes sometimes. When I heard my guides so clearly in 2002 I didn’t think about how it would evolve, I thought about what I had to do to stay clear enough to keep the connection. I knew it would dissolve if I let my frequency get too low. So I meditated, got clearings, worked hard. It never occurred to me that I would evolve, learn more, be better. I never thought I would become the connection. But I have. When people ask about my work I often say that lightwork isn’t a job, it’s a lifestyle. I live my work. The reason is: thoughts change things. When my thoughts dip into negativity, I lose the conscious connection to my guides.

The unconscious, the eternal connection is always there. But my human self isn’t vying for that, I want help in my life. I want words and feelings. I want to feel safe and secure. Working with Becky pushed me into growth. If I would have gotten hung up on “why” I would not have healed what I needed to heal to be the “me” I am today. If Spirit would have said, “You are creating a new reality where you can be the person you want to be”, I don’t think I would have understood. I was afraid of her, that person who could trust in the Light and work in many directions while staying connected. I almost don’t believe it is me as I write this, but it is. I know it is. Becky won’t let me forget. After all these years, after healing and evolving together, she still tells me what I do, how amazing it is.hand.heart.blk.white

Wow. My heart feels full when I open to receive that. Becky and I created a strong friendship; I treasure her and trust her completely. I know when our souls designed this; they could see that I would trust her. So after years of readings; births and rebirths, jobs and homes, relationships, frustration and elation, I can see Becky for who she really is: my teacher.

One of many, granted, but a most appreciated and beloved teacher. She has shown me things about myself through her service to the Light. Her integrity is so strong, her dedication to life so visceral, how could I not listen? I can’t imagine where I would be if I had gotten stuck asking, “Why?”

If you are in a tough place of feeling pushed or in lack, please trust yourself. Know that you are creating something and the lesson of now may be uncomfortable. It may be unbearable, it may feel like hell. We all dip into drama and victimhood from time to time. I encourage you to see the moment for what it is: a lesson. Ask for help; let your guides know when you are overwhelmed. Speak aloud, “I need help! I am suffering and want to feel better right now!” Tell Creator/Source that you surrender and then do what you can to get out of the way, I usually take a nap. Emotional stress is exhausting so curl up and rest.

We are each living in moments, we are each the spiritual form of a soul incarnated on planet Earth that is learning. I wish you blessings for a peaceful journey, created by you. Remember to ask for peace, ease and comfort, they are always available for you.







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