While working with a client last week, I learned something that has spurred many thoughts about the way I express gratitude. I have worked with this client, let’s call her Rose, since 2005. Rose attends a meditation group to support her practice. A member of that group suggested a gratitude exercise. Rose felt resistance.

Why would a seasoned lightworker, an educated mind, a consciousness practicing, integral being resist a simple gratitude list?

Rose considered her this and asked, “Do I not want to be happy? Is that why I don’t want to do this?” I wondered the same thing. Had Rose finally found a seed of unhappiness rooted in the resistance of gratitude? Fortunately, the guides came in to straighten us out.

They explained something that is still echoing in my head. But first, I would like to share part of my gratitude practice. As many of you know, I use Ho’oponopono. Bi-weekly I “clean” via conference call with two lovely ladies. We have done this for about ten years. It works like this, if drivers are cutting you off frequently you might clean on, “Thank you, I love you, please forgive me, I am sorry to anytime I cut someone off in traffic.” The focus, always in first person, stays on the negative—as that is what is needing to be cleaned. During the span of deepening our practice, we added gratitude to complement our subject, “I am grateful for peaceful driving experiences.” It feels wonderful to enhance the clearing process by affirming what is desired. You likely know that the sub-conscious overlooks negative words like not, no, don’t, etc. If you say: “I don’t want traffic”, the subconscious hears “I want traffic.” By affirming what you actually want, you truly speak to your subconscious and therefore are a more empowered creator.

After years of living Ho’oponopono/Gratitude, studying the Universal gratitude vacuum and practicing until I could roll off a list of gratitudes like a drill sergeant just barked the command, I have learned something new. Here it is:

Speaking what you think you should be grateful for isn’t enough. So when I say, “I am grateful for the trees, sky, seasons, sun, planet, friends, family, pets, love, light, guides, Creator, excellent health, water, animals, money, clients, kindness, income, home, shelter, warm blankets, clothing, food, fruit, utensils, pens, paper, art supplies, scissors, phones, cars, transportation, tools…” it does not have the effect of what you will learn next.

What the guides taught Rose, and me, is that we can use gratitude like a can-opener. First, you must find what aggravates you. What’s bothering you? In the same way that gratitude balances Ho’oponopono, it can unearth what you really want.  For instance, Rose was annoyed by the person in her meditation class suggesting a surface gratitude list. One might call it fluff. She was not challenged. Rose said, “I think she has an incredible observation of the obvious.”

Let’s dig. Who is annoying you? Why is that person attempting to do? Look good or get credit? Feel like he/she brought some light into the group? Be recognized? Or possibly it is to enhance where they feel weak? Or… possibly it’s a covert weakness about where they think you are weak…?

If we ignore aggravations and annoyances, we are side-stepping our teachers. Somewhere inside each of us we host a master teacher called the sub-conscious. This master creator might actually be participating in the design of an annoying circumstance. Possibly, Rose wanted to be aggravated so she could increase her gratitude consciousness.

Far-fetched? Maybe, but you won’t know unless you try. I challenge you in this way:

  1. Make a show-off list of gratitudes. Don’t hold back. Brag, boast, tell it all and in a way that says you are grateful for the mastermind you truly are. Make a list of celebrations, accomplishments and achievements. Write gratitudes for your education (formal and otherwise), travel, where you have lived, how many children/divorces/jobs/illnesses you have survived. Things you have conquered/climbed/purged/learned. Go deep.
  2. Make an anger list. If you go light, complain about why mosquitoes exist, you won’t get the full benefit of this. Hunt for your inner-most deviations from Light. What makes you curse? Who do you strongly dislike… or… hate? Your fears are lurking just behind those hates, so find them.
  3. Now make another list, one that compliments the anger by expressing what you want via gratitude. For instance: “I cannot stand loud talkers. They frustrate me and I want to strangle them.” (See how nice it is to dive. The deeper you go, the more you clear.) Now, what would be a nice gratitude to compliment severe craziness when people talk too loud? Maybe: I am completely at peace when my ears adjust everything I hear so that I am comfortable. Or: I am grateful for everyone that cares about how their voice impacts my ears. That would be a good start, but why not dig even deeper. Why do loud voices bother you? Did your father yell? Were teachers mean? Did you damage your ears with loud music?
  4. Getting deeper with our example. The only way to see if this works for you is to sit down and do it. I have had phenomenal results. Enough that I am writing a blog about it. Here is a possible list for deepening.
    I am grateful:
    -that I recognize what annoys me.
    -for anytime I allow noise to correlate with old pain so that I can heal the issue and be free of the side effect.
    -for my ability to hear what is happening, to listen with my ears, body and mind.
    -for the person talking so loud that I have to face this issue and the opportunity to heal it.

Digging, diving deep. That is the theme for this time as we transition into 2018. If you would like to download the Expanding Gratitude Practice Journal, a seven-page Word document, please click the following link. This is a completely free gift for you.


I wish all of you a heartfelt, full, engaging journey over Thanksgiving and the holiday season.

With much love,



PS: I would love to hear about your journey with this technique. Respond here, text, call or email. <3




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