For years, like many romantics, I waited for that special day when I would receive gifts of love and feel cherished. It would be a moment above all others, one where nothing would interfere with the undying love someone had for me. The presents would be perfect. Chocolates, champagne, a foot massage. Maybe tickets to a play? Hours of lovemaking? Maid service for a year? A magic wand that banished self-loathing thoughts?

When those things did not happen I had to ask myself a very real question. Was I not loved? Didn’t “he” understand the “holiday”? What was wrong?

After a few years of examination, I decided that the questions where the problem. Of course, I was loved. However, I had been brainwashed to believe that Valentine’s Day was the measure of said love. So if V-Day wasn’t the day love was proven, when did it happen?

My husband thinks it is a Hallmark holiday designed to force him to over-purchase and buy flowers for twice the price. I told my husband that there is a day to remind people to cherish their beloved and show it with gifts. If he wanted to boycott Valentine’s Day, he could pick another day to worship me. That felt good! Only he took the out and forgot to pick another day.

Again, I am left out in the cold. No gifts, no fancy dinner, no jewelry advertised by Jane Seymour. Time to dig deeper. Through all the meditation, sessions with Lightworkers, soul searching, etc., I always come up with the same two issues: abandonment and unworthiness. Let’s look at the core issue of unworthiness. It seems that humans have an innate desire to be loved. We want others to see us, love us and then we will be positively sure we are valuable.

How does that make you feel?

Do you want to march for the civil liberties of self-love? Are you ready to demand your right to be loved without involving another person? I hope so. Because here is the truth of this matter: Everything resides within you. And no matter who or how someone loves you, it is the integrity of the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine within you that holds the true power to love.

How can that be?

You, as the Divine Being that you are, cannot even fathom pure love until you “know” it. And to know it you must find balance within, and that balance emits love like incense emits smoke. It will fill you with a wafting scent that only you can smell. An intoxicating aroma of purity and unconditional love. Your cells know love, it is from whence you came; therefore, it’s not so much a lesson as it is a recovery.

Take a breath. Take a slow deep breath and ask yourself where love comes from. Ask if you can find the love you need in another person. The true, down to the bones, core love you need. I’d wager the answer is no. We can be loved, and it is wonderful. But even that is disappointing if we have not recognized how lovable we truly are.

Love from another can’t go deeper than how we love ourselves.

It’s like a bucket. You’re the bucket, and you can fill it with a lover’s love, but if you want more you must get a bigger bucket. Who makes/sells the buckets? God. Creator. Source. The Ultimate Metaphor.

On this Valentine’s Day, I wish you self-love like crazy. I wish you a huge bucket for all the love you give yourself. And if someone wants to match your love, then yes… let that in, too. But please don’t make your worth and value about how someone else feels. Let your innate wisdom seek Source for the ultimate healing of anything blocking how you love yourself.

A funny thing happens when self-love dominates. One becomes more interested in loving, less worried about how loved one feels. The great irony of life: we want what we don’t have. And the equally confusing Universal Law: we attract what we emanate. Buckle down on this one. Fight for self-love because it is your life force. Search out lesser thoughts and console your subconscious for ever having them.

Try this prayer, from Pocket Prayer Book: Excerpts from Divine Accordance. It is adapted from Appreciation Self Prayer.

Love Self Prayer

Father, Mother, God, Goddess, Creator, Source of All That Is; show me the way to self-love. I ask for assistance in seeing and understanding mySelf. As I walk this path of learning that I Am, please help me to release anything in the way. Please show me where I shine and how I Am an aspect of the Divine Force that holds all. As I Am in service to the Light, help me to feel forgiveness when I am harsh to others or myself. Please assist this release on all levels, through all time, space and dimension.

Thank you and Amen


May you be blessed with happiness, self-love and balance,




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