Vulnerable yet Strong, Knowing yet Empty

 

I walk toward an oak tree; next to it is a bench. When I sit, I see a small note. It reads: “To one who understands: stop falling in love with the things that are outside. Understand you, what is inside, and you will find happiness.”

I get it; I look outside of myself too much. Then I am show a vision.

As if I went into dream-state, the scenery around me changes to a room. There is a Connect With Spirit class in progress. I am talking to a group of people, “I want you to take an honest look at yourself. Where are your insecurities coming from? Find that place. Please sit to meditate, and ask only this question: Where does my insecurity come from? When you find it raise your hand. You have one hour.”tree.light

I sit. Within a few minutes someone approaches me and asks several questions. I feel strong energy emerge and I want to yell at this person: Sit and meditate! But instead I ask her to stand in front of the room. She is shaking and I know her vulnerability is overwhelming. I walk around the class; who is going into deep meditation, who is looking inside for that place of vulnerability? NO ONE! I am appalled that no one is taking this opportunity to find the place within. What can I do? I ask my guide, thinking this is the problem, people won’t do the work.

He replies, “Yes, we understand; often when we suggest things and no one moves. They want to be told. Talk to them about that.”

I ask the woman standing, “Where does your insecurity live?” She starts to shake, visibly. I want to help her, but I wait.

Another student asks, “May I stand beside her?”

“Yes,” I reply.

Another woman asks to do the same, I nod. And then they are all standing around her. From outside their circle, I ask, “Are you safe?”

She nods, shaking and crying, but relieved. We all sit on the floor and she lets out a long breath. We ohm and chant until her emotions calm, and then she tells me, “My insecurities are inside me, inside my mind… my sub-conscious mind. I allow them to stay because I think they are my identity.”

I let out a woop! Everyone jumps and we laugh.

The vision releases, I am with my guide again near the oak tree. What is the message?

I think about the people of the class, not meditating on the question. I know that they represent me; I am the students and the teacher. When do I avoid meditating on the real question? Where do I challenge the Universe to push me into releasing so that I can understand what I desire to know?

Like a dream, I know this vision can open and give me more if I study it. The shaking woman: she wouldn’t do the work, no sitting still, she was afraid. That is me. I am afraid and worried and I know it detracts from my work. The other women stopped their meditations to support one person that was afraid. I have support! Maybe I don’t always understand it or accept it, but I am learning. Some part of me knows, and is holding space, just like the teacher. She won’t cave, won’t cater to emotional whims when she knows how strong I am. And I can be both Hands on Earthwomen; vulnerable yet strong, knowing yet empty. Can’t I? And I can be the group, supporting those around me that struggle. Amazingly, I can see that insecurities are not my identity! I release that old pattern!

Then this prayer comes:

I am an amazing participant in the human race. I create happiness and I expand joy. I laugh. I understand and I am compassionate. To explain all of this quickly, I smile. To let you know that you are okay, I profess that I am okay. I am comfortable in my body and my choices are conscious. Peace surrounds me and I shine like a radiant star. I am a crystal clear light in the Universe and I love it. I am special!

Thank you and Amen.

 

 

Blessings to you on your road to spiritual discovery,

Holly

 

 

 

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